亲爱的婆婆已经安详地“离开”一年五个月了。开始了这部落格，总闪起要在这空间纪念她的念头。
所以PO了这篇当初在公司给的TOASTMASTERS致词。当初可是一把鼻涕一把眼泪，很狼狈地在旧同事老板面前说完。
现在想起我们称为ATUK的婆婆，心里还是很踏实。她没“离开”，只是搬到我们心里面。ATUK灵堂上的照片，是我拍的，错过看婆婆最后一眼，但是我能够摄住她最美的那刻，心里还是有些安慰。
对于她这么一个简单（虽然人生故事却一点都不简单）的老人家，能一生无憾，仿佛是理所当然的。
那么在世俗中忙与盲的我们，有没有一直提醒自己，能像婆婆这么长命百岁+无病痛，并不是必然的。
若有想过，那我们又做了什么不宜等待的事呢？
不如就从孝顺，感恩和珍惜开始吧。我们加油。
Celebrating Life during Funeral
My dear family and relatives, thanks for attending our get-together this afternoon. Today marks the 1 month anniversary of the demise of our beloved grandmother, fondly called Atuk…I would like to share 5 lessons I learned from this unforgettable event.
One month ago, I flew back Penang from Kuala Lumpur with earnest hope to accompany Atuk during her last few days. When I finally saw her, Atuk looked calm and in peace, beautiful as usual…just that it also came with the disturbing quietness and motionless this time.
I was LATE… 8 hours and 30 minutes late… [pause]. Anyway the 1st lesson I picked up from Atuk’s ‘silent mentoring’ is – Have NO regrets if you’ve done what you should do, in the best way you can! After all, I’ve shown that I love her to bits when she was healthy and alive. On behalf of Atuk, I would like to dedicate my heartfelt appreciation to my family members who selflessly spent day and night serving Atuk during her last few years - when she was weaker and more dependent. Since all of us have done our best, we should have no regrets or being sad. After all, life is too precious to be spent on regretting.
2nd lesson - we can still celebrate life during funeral because ‘death ends a life, not a relationship’…The fact that Atuk has lived past 100 years without any illness is already a miracle - which we need to be grateful of! According to tradition, her funeral should be a happy celebration – for she was blessed with so many people who loved her until her last breathe. Therefore instead of the solemn black and white, her grandchildren wore pink while great grandchildren wore fresh red. Hmm, it definitely gave me a brand new interpretation of these colours!! J
3rd lesson I learned from Atuk was about what really matters in life. Throughout the wake, relatives, friends and old neighbours came to pay Atuk their last respect. Some have not seen each other for ages but it seemed that Atuk brought all her loved ones back together.
Even without uttering a word, I think I heard Atuk telling us never take your families and friends for granted. Even without any movement, she moved us to tears and made us realize ultimately what matters in life - is something beyond big house, high position, luxurious car and fat bonus!
The 4th lesson Atuk taught me was about being ‘rich and beautiful’. Atuk was just a simple lady like any others who were born in the 1913s. Because of poverty, she was denied the license to proper education. After grandfather passed away, she single-handedly raised up her four children with her income in rubber tapping and ‘tikar anyam’. Atuk didn’t earn enough to send her children to school either. However as much as Atuk was not able to feed them well with food, she surely ‘fed’ them with enough integrity, moral values and respect for others. That explained why Atuk and my family were well respected in the village where we grew up. In her simple ways, she showed us that being rich and beautiful WITHIN will make one go even further in life.
The 5th lesson I learned from our Atuk – being ordinary doesn’t mean we can’t create extraordinary life stories. It was a rare sight at any usual wake…Despite the heavy rain, a huge group of Malay and Indian neighbours turned up. After we moved out from the village 8 years ago, the villagers still remember and miss her. My dad and uncles hugged the old neighbours, ‘salam’ and showed them the ‘Tuk Boon’ whom they used to know in Kubang Semang village. They shared stories, laughed about the good old days and expectedly - some teared….A sight that is truly “1 Malaysia ”. Atuk was not a politician with great campaigns, but she has proven that she lived on in the hearts of people she has touched and nurtured while she was alive – irregardless of race.
Yes, we have all the reasons to celebrate a simple life well-lived, not just in length but in great DEPTH too! J
Allow me to dedicate this poem to Atuk who is forever important to us:-
You can shed tears that she is gone,
Or you can smile because she lived;
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left;
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her anymore,
Or you can be full of the love that you shared when she was alive;
You can remember that she is gone now,
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on;
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes; love and go on.
Let us do just what Atuk wanted…love and go on...
